Today is one of those days

There are days
When my conflicted mind
won’t give up on reality

My thoughts are so dark
that meandering doesn’t help
And breathing doesn’t help either

Call it a bad day
in the life of an
undecided person
But failure for some
comes in
disproportionate ratios

And so I write
Write
Write
I will write
Until I start crying
To blur the words
To tire my mind

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20 comments

  1. Aww that’s not a good feeling. As a quick fix – try writing down five things you want to search for on google images that you know will make you smile. start with blueberry cheesecake. Long term solution is to go for a nice, long walk and find a squirrel or bird to talk to. Hope you feel better soon!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Christy. I’m glad that at least now I have somewhere I can write anything I feel…I just got some results and so…I know it sounds stupid but I just don’t think that I can be happy if things keep on going the way they are. You know what it is like to live here, right? You know why I wrote ‘disproportionate ratios’, right? There is a lot of injustice to choose 751 students out of 3,200,000 aspirants…I don’t know if I’ll ever deserve the peace I expect in my life.
      I’m sorry for being such a depressing person, but this is just who I am.

      Like

  2. “Disproportionate ratios” this poem was beatiful, and so relatable. Hope you’re doing okay, I’m always here to talk πŸ™‚

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    1. Thanks for the compliment!
      I know..I’m just not happy with myself and this has been going on for a long time now. I don’t know what to do anymore. I just don’t think that I live ‘properly’ enough…but I used to think that who does and then people shove so many examples in my face. I can’t remember being comfortable with myself, and neither can some people around me…also I have this completely disgusting need to impress people. I wonder how I am going to live with myself?
      It’s not that I don’t try to live better, I do but there is just so much that I can do, right? I don’t even know what I am saying now…

      Like

    1. I do actually. I do indeed. I feel a lot better after letting it out. And I think that I should do it more often, now. Instead of sitting and worrying, it’s a better and possible a more productive way of dealing with anger.
      Thanks, Yoshiko. You’re very kind. πŸ™‚

      Like

      1. Just a small gesture πŸ™‚ normally, expressing our feelings either by drawing or writing or even both helps to dissipates anger, sadness, depressions and all kind of positive and negative emotions

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I hope this day that you are speaking of has passed…believe me…I AM there right at this moment…I KNOW your feelings. It is hard to “give it up,” isn’t it? It is a customary feeling, and even though, it is unproductive, we know it and therein lies the comfort level…at least for me…and THEN I tell myself, “This is NOT where I want to be!”…I have to literally force myself out of it…play some Enya…Andrea Bocelli…so I can cry…and then BEGIN again…or take a walk outside…breathe deeply…shut everything out and BE STILL…I try many things….Blessings to you! You are NEVER alone…and I do care about YOU…even though we have not met in person…your words have brought you to me….YOU are in my thoughts often…YOU MATTER to me!

    Like

    1. Oh, such an uplifting thought. ❀
      I'm so glad that I matter because so do YOU and like A LOT too! I hope you're better today, I can't say that I am but then time will do its trick like it always does although it has been going on for quite a while now…I don't know when it will stop or will it ever. I think that it's a part of who we are moreover because we are…well..different from the rest, sometimes in a good way and with some severe side-effects.
      Well, I just want to say that Thank you, you said something no one has ever cared enough to and I respect you a lot for that. You're wonderful. πŸ™‚

      Like

  4. You’re strong and obviously have such a fascinating mind. Whatever it is you’re going through, just remember that it will pass. Love yourself and think of every failure as one more step towards success. Now, I’m not just trying to encourage you. I truly believe everything I have said and I really hope you start to believe and live it too. It’s people like you who make me feel like I don’t have nearly enough talent and that’s great because it makes me drive myself harder. Have a great week ahead. Beautiful thing you have going on here by the way..
    Oh would you stop by my blog? Your opinion would be beyond appreciated

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey! Thanks for that positive message, I needed it and I’ll come back to your comment whenever I feel low. And i feel equally humbled, i read some of your poetry and it is flawless. Keep writing, I am glad you found my blog so that I could find your lovely blog. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. OMG! You and a couple other bloggers I just found, totally made my day like I literally have tears in my eyes right now. You cannot know how much this means. Thank you so so much. I look forward to a wonderful relationship with you and the rest. Thank you. Have a fabulous September.

        Liked by 1 person

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