I am.

To be accepted
for what I am
is all I want
I cannot change
myself, no
I have tried
and failed
Why should I?
When you cannot?
To be a family
is all I ever wanted

“I cannot”, she said
I cried
I am still crying
How can you not
accept what is
already yours
because you made it
Made it and raised it
Raised it to not
accept it?

“I cannot”, she says again
And, I have to
accept that.

I shouldn’t have written this maybe, I might delete it…I feel severely depressed right now. I am sorry.

Advertisements

53 comments

      1. I am extremely inspired, this is what I long for… a heart connection and to know that I’m not alone. To hear such rawness is what moves me and I do believe all others. Thank you for your honesty. It is most refreshing.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. You took the words out of my mouth… or the feelings in my heart. I hit that point myself, on and off yet still… even briefly and deeply last night in fact, and if I could I emphasize deeply because it is painfully real. I know I don’t know your exact situation but there is a definite relation in your words. Thanks again…

        Like

      3. Thank you for the prayers, Aubery. It sure did help me, I feel a lot better than yesterday. I am sorry to hear that you have to go through something similar…we start accepting things as they are but at times it goes over the top and that would have been for you – day before yesterday and for me was last night. I’m glad that I wrote this and we could talk about it. There is nothing greater than knowing that you are not alone. And if you have any such issues in the future you can email anytime, I’d love to help. ā¤
        Lots of love. šŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      4. I do thank you for your thoughtful words, my friend! Glad all is well. The beauties of being human are quite extreme but feeds the need and does spark the creative flame it seems šŸ™‚ It’s been nice getting to know you more. Your outlook and poetry style makes me smile, your work is impressive! Many blessings always ā¤

        Liked by 1 person

  1. I’m sensing a true heaviness here, my dear. I know what it is to feel rejection, and to be treated in a way you feel you just shouldn’t be. I can feel that this is something so very personal and saddening for you. I know it may not count for much sweetie, but I accept you just as you are. Even if I knew you in person, I’d accept you just as you are. And please know, that God accepts you just as you are and sees into the deepest most part of your being. He hurts with you.
    Hey, you know if you ever need to talk, or cry, or unload, please feel free to email me (my email found in my gravatar). Really, without hesitation at all I write this.
    With love
    šŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, it is quite personal and I was very afraid of sharing it..but I am kind of glad that I did. Aw, thank you Staci, for accepting me for what I am, good or bad. I don’t understand why my family members cannot. It’s disheartening, and while I’ve adapted to this way of living, it hurts a lot sometimes and yesterday was one of those days.
      Oh, for sure, I know that I have people like you whom I can trust with anything because they know that imperfections are a part of the human nature.
      Lots of love, Staci…and do you like chocolates..’cause I do and I would like to pass along some virtual ones to you and of course tea! Yay! Happy thoughts! ā¤

      Liked by 1 person

  2. It is deeply saddening to know what you are going through. Firstly, you are not a coward so better do not don a victim’s tone. You are a go getter and self made person. How can anyone dare to reject such an amazing person like you? You have made many of us feel good with your beautiful comments, friendly gestures, smilies, appreciation, best wishes, etc. We all are here to cheer you up buddy. Secondly, do not try to resist what ever is happening to you. As you already know, the more you resist…. the more it persists. No one ever has that potency to make you feel low without your permission. Do not give away to anyone. You need not change for others. The people who are meant to be in your life will always be with you no matter who you are or how you are. Rejection is not something which you GET, it is something you TAKE . Speak to someone deeply connected to you or just have your moments of silence. Prayers Assured!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for saying such inspirational words, it means a lot to me. No one in particular has rejected me..it’s just my family, they don’t accept me for what i am and i’ve learnt to be at peace with that idea but at times it becomes too much and then there are fights, arguments and much more…
      I am a lot better today, thanks to all your prayers. I’m really happy that I can give you all smiles but I feel that I need to stop making post like these as there is just too much negativity in them. I’ll try. šŸ™‚
      And a mega thanks for ALWAYS being there for me! You, good lady are supermegafoxyawesomehot! ā¤ ā¤

      Like

      1. Good to learn that you are back to your normal spirits. I have my lil wisdom to tell you but I think, you will realize it some time moving on. I am a good and awesome lady but not supermegafoxy…..hot! Take Care.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. There is an abundance of people who tolerate, understand, love, and support — unconditionally.One’s approval or acceptance in our world can not be granted by a singular being. Have you rejected yourself? I doubt so. In fact, with all the love expressed in these and other post comments, you already know that you are far from being rejected. Embrace the kindness that surrounds you. You are worthy!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ah, thank you for that comment Eric. You are right, as long as I have not rejected myself, everything is worth the strife. That was a very inspiring thought – “You are worth.”
      Thanks again. šŸ™‚
      Hope you are doing good! šŸ™‚

      Like

  4. Smiley emoticons can look so happy sometimes, but millions of’em wont get a depressed heart to smile like it does!

    Firstly, writting about your emotions, is a brave step. It shows you’re willing to talk about it! I always tell people,
    ‘Dont hold things in, too much of’em kills slowly from within’

    Look for someone, let it out. Stand at the top of a tall building, shout out like you never did before,
    (dont even think of jumping down, that’ll add to the problem)
    if possible, include the name of the one who’ve hurt you, call’em all sortta names, let the anger out and never be afraid to cry, even in front of people, its not weakness, its outta love for yourself!

    Most importantly, love yourself for who you are, others may not and may never accept you completely, but you owe yourself that one big favour,
    Love you being for who it is! šŸ™‚
    I’m around the corner, if you ever wanna talk ā¤
    Stay happy n healthy šŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for that lovely motivational message and for appreciating the courage it takes! I will definitely try the shouting from the top of a building cure, even the sound of it is relieving but since i could not do that this once, i let it out in writing. I like myself for whatever i am and i am glad you do too! It’s just that at times everything gets over the top and i end up as a mess…I am very much better today! šŸ™‚
      You are right about the smilies though. But, your words are enough for me to come out of the dark. ā¤
      Oh, yes I will contact you for sure, whenever i feel the need to let it out. Your unwavering support means a lot to me! I'm so happy to have a friend like you. šŸ™‚

      Like

  5. Please don’t feel sorry for writing this – please, please don’t. Always know that I’m here, and also, I really hope you can smile soon. “Look at the stars……”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m all smiles now! šŸ™‚
      I have these banal fits of anger and depression…i’m quite sure I’ll be there in a few weeks but right now, I can say that I’m doing well for now.
      Aw, yes..”Look at the stars…” always ā¤

      Like

      1. Okay šŸ™‚
        And “look how they shine for you”
        I’ve been remembering that lyric for..well, ever, and don’t you forget it!

        Like

  6. I’m happy to read so many kind and warm comments! I love what Staci & Beingeternal have said to you…
    “To be accepted
    for what I am
    is all I want”
    You are perfectly right, and true love is made of true and sincere acceptation!
    I think you need self confidence, and I’m sure poetry (and your beautiful blog) helps you. First of all, because you are a talented poet. Don’t worry about depression, it’s normal to go through, and it is inspiring, I know it may sound strange to say that, but a famous French poet, Baudelaire, had called it with an English word: spleen… so, you must write about it! I am absolutely sure that writing is like a kind of “therapy”, a therapy that rhymes with beauty! So, be confident, acceppt the grey colors in your sky and remember wonderful hues of blueness are waiting behind black clouds… keep writing, and never give up :-)ā™„

    Like

    1. “accept the grey colors in your sky and remember wonderful hues of blueness are waiting behind black clouds” – very true, Frederic! Thanks for the inspirational words. You’re right I do need self-confidence..I’m working on it and have been quite well since writing this poem. So yes, I think I see the blueness, it’s faint but it’s there.

      Liked by 1 person

Titanise your thoughts and earn Sparrow Points

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s