The Tea Chronicles #1

*Trigger warning – This content deals with an account/observation of abuse and may be triggering to some people. Please be warned. Thank you*

These posts have nothing to do with tea apart from the fact that I am drinking it while posting this. I’ll be doing this everyday to share daily experiences or observations, just a rant really.

So, in the past few days I have realised that I no longer feel pain – physical pain. Even if i am battered for hours, i don’t cry because of the wounds, i cry from the fear of words.
I’m not sure when it started but today I can establish this as a conclusion, a fact. And, to be honest it feels great! It lessens the mental anxiety to some extent.

Have any of you felt the same? Please share. I’d loveΒ to get different perspectives on it.

 

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31 comments

  1. Well done, my friend. I always enjoy hearing your thoughts. πŸ™‚ I have always felt more afraid of words than physical pain. Bumps and bruises fade with time, but the wounds of a cruel tongue seem to plague me endlessly. I feel them to my very core and find it very difficult to release them.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, my friend! I have been more afraid of the wounds, as going to school or uni was tough, it would become difficult to explain friends and such. Now that I think about it maybe it was I who was not in terms with it – but now I’ve become the same as you said, the words they keep echoing at odd times, there is no permanent solution I suppose but writing sure does help a lot. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Whoever made up that saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me” had it all wrong. Words do hurt. I was verbally abused by my father all throughout my upbringing. It totally hurt. Until today I need to take medication for anxiety disorder/depression. If I don’t take them, I don’t sleep. I’m irritated all the time. I’m emotional and irrational. So yea, I think that happened because of what I suffered growing up.
    Love and hugs to you, my friend.
    πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh no, that’s really horrifying Staci. I can imagine – when it comes from a father it’s harsher than that from a mother. Words hurt, and so much so that it can drive a person to the limits of their tolerance. Sometimes I feel like shouting back at my mother and at times I have done so too, but it doesn’t help, does it? Even those words haunt me.
      I have stopped taking anti-depressants for a while now and maybe that’s making it worse. As you say, I am irritable, all the time. Reckon I’ll have to go back to the pills.
      It must be so troublesome for you – I hate how we have to suffer because of someone else’s personality.

      Love and many hugs for you too, my friend. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh, I’m so sorry to hear of your troubles. You have a rough relationship with your mom eh. I really believe that the way we grow up, like our upbringing, really effects us. Could be why we see so many troubled youth now-a-day, and why there’s so much depression.

        Love and hugs to you too sweetie.
        πŸ™‚ ❀

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so very much, Rachael. It’s so great to see that there are people who support a victim out of the situation by supporting then rather than sympathizing with them. Much love and many hugs, my friend. ❀
      Please have a wonderful weekend!

      Like

  3. Yes, I grew up fearing words–and as often happens, I married someone who would continue the “word abuse”. I’m alone by choice now, and much older–but still sensitive to words….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am really sorry to hear that…it’s such a shame that some people don’t take in account how others feel because of their words. It’s very sad..but it’s good that you’re alone by choice now maybe that’s the only way to happiness.

      Like

  4. I hope you are not clobbered. And I equally hope this is not in relation to the thing you have mailed me. I understand, it is staggeringly unmanageable to live with such a trauma…especially the sharp-worded things. Do not lose your strength and faith, my dear. Whatever be your present ail, just do not form any habitual bond with passing thing. The deserving peace is yet to come….just wait for the storm to pass. Take rest and stop worrying…..it will rock you for hours but will not lead anywhere.

    Have a peaceful time, my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. It is strange isn’t it….that sound waves can cause pain…
    Yes…I have always felt words as a cut of my heart much less desirable than being physically assaulted. I can make my body numb…no feeling at all…but words and their meanings cut like a razor…and while the physical scars fade and are barely remembered…the other become a part of your landscape.

    Much much love to you πŸ™‚ ❀ ❀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’ve rightly stated, Lorrie – words feel like a cut on the heart. It’s very strange…and I felt the same as you, the other day my body went completely numb! I have been like this since the past year, my body feels nothing now, no matter how hard i’m hit. The words do indeed cut like a razor and stay there – echoing and circling in the head.

      Much love to you too, my friend! ❀ ❀
      Please have a great weekend! πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My heart connects to yours and I am praying that you are not experiencing any hits now!!! Mine are old…and the only hits I experience now are the self inflicted sort…which I will hopefully learn to banish as well! Much love to you…may you experience peace! ❀ ❀

        Liked by 1 person

  6. I don’t want to like this because it’s sad to think you’re going through something like this. I do like that you shared, that you’re reaching out. I wish there was more I could do than say, “Don’t forget who you are through these times, don’t lose focus on your light.”
    You will prevail. Believe it.

    Liked by 1 person

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